Do you know anyone who has failed, completely and utterly? Whose entire life’s work has gone down the drain? Who has devoted their entire life to a career that has utterly failed, publicly and spectacularly? Who has not only shown themselves to be personally and intellectually unequal to their task, but that their core beliefs, their moral compass if you like, have been shown to be utterly useless? If you don’t know anyone personally, can you think of anyone famous? Perhaps in England?
What would you advise them to do? We at LSS might suggest a cocktail or two to drown their sorrows. And once again, our researchers have come up with a list of drown your sorrows. Slammers that could console anyone who has wrecked their own life, and those of many around them.
Pain killer A rich mix of rum, fruit juices, and coconut a couple of these will make you feel you are delivering growth again in no time at all
Mexican Firing Squad A rejuvenating mix of lime juice, tequila and bitters, you could reboot any human enterprise from a whelk stall in the Mile End Road to -oh, let’s think of something, a failing Government, maybe?
Any Port in a Storm Boozy blend of rums, ports, absinthe and many other elements which could ready you for the most difficult pf press conferences. Or give you the courage to take your main questions from patsy journalists whose owners put you where you are today.
Adios Mofo We’ve toned down the title for this family website, but it’s a beautiful Conservative blue, this one. Quite appropriate, really. One of these, and you’re ready to sack anyone who carries out your orders to the letter.
Grave Digger If by some random chance your name is Sir Graham Brady, and, by some other even more fantastic probability, you are chairman of the 1922 committee, this one might resonate.
North Sea Oil Much better for the economy than all those windfarms! A Scottish theme with lots of whiskies, in case they still love you up there as they should. Maybe. Perhaps.
The Noble One If you can carry on when everyone around seems to hate you, for some inexplicable reason, what better heart warmer than this rather outre mix of sherry, port and various syrups. And if all else fails-send for Jeremy Hunt!
Once again, hats off to our researchers and that amazing site https://www.liquor.com/- a go to must for anyone who needs a mix in a hurry, or has been told to write an article to a deadline.
#uk #financial crisis #conservative party #stability
2 thoughts on “Friday Night Cocktails: consolations for those who’ve failed (contains strong language)”
Perhaps a shot or two of Absinthe might assuage their, er…whoever they are?…pain?
Never mind ………’tomorrow’s another day’ I guess!
quite right, Martin